


Farewell, Beloved

by AkiraRokkiDan



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Closure, Comfort/Angst, Emotional, Enishi's life is a mess, Gen, Goodbyes, Jinchuu Arc, Post-Jinchuu Arc, Pray for him, Sibling Love, Slow Burn, Spoilers, at least he still has his dad, dream - Freeform, final meeting, it's sad how he misses Tomoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 02:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12098763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkiraRokkiDan/pseuds/AkiraRokkiDan
Summary: Enishi, stunned by all that he has learned, has landed in the fallen village of Rakuninmura. A seemingly familiar old man has assured him that he will leave this place, but all Enishi can feel is despair. He must come to terms with his own past to find a way to atone for his dire sins, and in doing so, find a new purpose in life. Only then will he be allowed to move on and live in the new era.In which Enishi faces his inner demons and says goodbye to the one he holds dearest.





	Farewell, Beloved

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: This is kinda old and some of my thoughts have changed eg. I'd probably extend it so it's at least a few chapters long so Enishi's change in attitude is a bit more believable (not that he didn't change dramatically at the end of the manga already but y'know). Additionally, I've come to the conclusion that he already seems to be overwhelmed not by just the truth but the weight of what he has done, which is why he's in Rakuninmura in the first place. I might revisit this scenario and expand on it greatly, but I'll still keep this up for now.
> 
> I've come to really appreciate Enishi, this may be strange but I have an unusual sort of attachment to him. He’s one of my favourite characters in the series and is just overall one of my favourite villains in fiction (I have loads of favs though so lmao). I always found his backstory to be one of the most soul-crushing in the entire series, really Tomoe's death was only the start of his decline if you think about it. To be frank, that was not intended to be justification for all the crazy and quite frankly horrible stuff he does, but as the manga indicates to at the end of the story he can and will eventually be 'redeemed'. Rurouni Kenshin is a story of redemption and atonement and Enishi is no different - quite literally because of how his story wraps up. One of the chief questions I had at the end of the manga was 'so what the hell is Enishi gonna do now?' So...here I am?
> 
> I've seen a few fics that deal with this subject, but a great many of them involve shipping Enishi with another (female) character. I'm not against shipping or anything, but I don't ship him with anyone really (I'm not big on fandom anyway). I think Enishi has more dire issues to sort out before he thinks about establishing any type of romantic relationship with anyone, and I don't see Enishi being particularly interested in one for a long time. But hey, what do I know? If you like those fics then don't let me discourage you, just giving my thoughts on the matter is all.

Some time had passed since Enishi’s wings broke and had landed in this fallen village. He took the image of a lifeless body, barely moving for anything. The troubled man still bore his foreign attire: a sleeveless shirt accompanied with bright orange pants. He had long since removed his arm guards and discarded them. When he had first arrived, Enishi looked far worse; dried blood gathered around his left ear, and his body was tainted with bruises. Time had healed his physical injuries, but his mind was still in shock. He gave the only expression that he could muster nowadays – a neutral expression of defeat. He clutched his sister’s diary close to his heart. It felt heavy in his hand.

In his hand were the last remnants of the real Tomoe kinder than anyone else, not the make-believe fantasy his warped mind had conceived after her death. He had forgotten who the real Tomoe was, and had lost her smile. Since that day when blood fell upon the snow, he had revelled in his hatred of that miserable Hitokiri, and how he took away the happiness and life of his beloved sister. The Battousai had made him cold, bitter and lonely. His loneliness gave into an unhinged rage. His rage fed a desire for revenge. This went beyond the desire to see him die. From that day on, Yukishiro Enishi lived to see the Battousai suffer the same way he did. He swore earthly punishment on the man who had taken away all that had given him the purpose to live, in memory of the fake Tomoe that only existed in Enishi’s mind warped by traumas of the past.

Enishi cast his mind back to the Jinchuu, as he began his deep and critical reminiscence of what had occurred. He had tailored his entire life towards his sweet justice: A sword that could counter the Battousai’s fabled Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu. A position in the Chinese underworld that could fund his twisted campaign. Disposable lackeys that would help carry out his plans. A customer who drew the Battousai out from retirement. The plan was perfect, and it worked for a while. Gein’s work of twisted puppetry was eerily convincing, Enishi had successfully cast Jinchuu upon his worst enemy by faking the death of the Battousai’s woman.

Then his sister stopped smiling. At the time, he was confused, perhaps she really wanted him to kill the Battousai’s woman. But he couldn’t. The…Kamiya girl was a spitting image of his dearest sister. For the first time, Enishi lost his confidence. _What’s wrong, sister? Why won’t you smile on me? Justice has been carried out, the enemy has been defeated and is on their knees! What more do you want?! Please sister, tell me!_ The Kamiya girl didn’t take lightly to being kept captive, but Enishi was adamant that she would be returned to Tokyo as soon as the Battousai had rotted away. In an odd turn of events, she had begun to cook for her captor, perhaps to reach a mutual understanding. Enishi didn’t think much about her efforts at the time, but thinking back on it, even though her cooking was terrible it was a touching gesture.

Himura came to the island for the girl, he had somehow gained knowledge that her death was fake, and rose from the hell he was cast in. It wasn’t just that though, it appeared that his enemy had confronted his demons and found an answer for his sins. Woo and his bodyguards were expectedly dispatched in no time, and then Himura took centre stage to settle the score with his brother-in-law. Unlike their first encounter, in which Enishi easily overpowered his nemesis, the Battousai no longer faltered. His technique was strong, but his mind was stronger. What broke Enishi was not his attacks, it was his piercing words.

_'Enishi…in your mind…is Tomoe smiling at you?'_

She wasn’t. Not when he needed her most. When their blades had clashed for the final time, Kofuku Zettosei vs Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki, his repeated desperate summons for her support had garnered nothing. That was when he had realised the truth. The cold bitter truth, a truth that had he had known subconsciously since the day he swore Jinchu upon Himura but had been clouded by his anger and bloodlust.

He had failed his sister.

 _This can’t be true. My life for all these has been a lie? No, the Battousai must be punished! Sister! Why won’t you smile?_ But there he was, amongst the sand, blade shattered into pieces. Himura had mentioned before that upon seeing Tomoe smile for one last time, he no longer had visions of her spectre that had haunted both of their lives for many years after the day where he had made it rain blood. He had moved on, had come to terms with the sins of his past, and was now fighting for the one he held dearest. The Kamiya girl.

 _The Kamiya girl? What is she doing?!_ Woo had pulled out his revolvers and glazed Himura’s shoulder. The Kamiya girl had run in front of him to protect him. The scenario was all too familiar. At that moment, distressing images raced through his confused mind, images of his sister being cut down by the Battousai. Rage raced through him: At his subordinate for daring to interfere. At the Kamiya girl for reminding him of that day.

At himself.

Enishi knew then, no he reached an epiphany of himself. His desire for revenge and justice didn’t come from a misunderstanding of his sister. Not entirely. These...drives…they came from somewhere within. Since that day, he couldn’t come to terms with himself. These motives were masking something much simpler, the fact that he hated himself for failing to protect his beloved sister. Guilt for failing her when she needed help the most. Failing to save her.  His desire for revenge had masked his own self-loathing.

On the verge of a breakdown, Enishi leapt to subdue his subordinate, blood splattered around his knuckles as his thrall flung back at the sheer impact of his fist, smacking against the tree placed conveniently behind him. He then screamed a blood-curdling roar and thrust his hand forward, ready for the kill despite the girl’s protests. Had it not been for the Battousai who stopped him, Woo would have certainly been dead. Himura then said something that astounded him:

 _'Thank you for protecting Kaoru-_ dono _.'_

Enishi, being reduced to a confused and whimpering mess, could only muster half-hearted cursing, whether it was directed towards Himura or himself, even he couldn’t figure out. That was the end of Jinchuu.

He recalled the Kamiya girl giving him his sister’s diary. Thinking back to it, Enishi was surprised. No one had any right to care about him anymore, especially the Kamiya girl of all people. To most people, Enishi must have been a pathetic wretch who took his grievances too far. But there she was, committing an act of extreme kindness, the kindest thing someone has ever done for him since Tomoe had departed or since that family in China took him in. That girl was almost exactly like the real Tomoe he had begun to remember recently. No wonder she was the most important person to Himura.

He escaped from captivity, taking the only thing left of the real Tomoe with him. After paying homage to his dearest sister’s grave, his broken wings brought him to the fallen village which he inhabits now. He read the diary repeatedly that day. He couldn’t believe it, _it was true_. He was exposed to a side of his sister that he had failed to understand for so long. She wasn’t an object to base revenge and justice around. Her own accounts made him feel many things, he was too overwhelmed. After realising that all he had done was dishonour her, Enishi was stunned. Defeated. Depressed.

Enishi thought he had lost everything, that he had no reason to live. A seemingly familiar Geezer simply stated that in time, he would rise and leave this place. But for now, he needed to rest. His life had been cruel since the day of her death, he needed time to properly heal and come to terms with himself. Enishi was discovering new things about himself, about his own sister. The village may not be his permanent dwelling, but it became the backdrop for his own crisis as it did for Himura’s.

 

*********

 

After his own brief remembrance, Enishi’s mind lingered. Mentally drained, he lowered his head and loosened his grip on what remained of his true sister.

Enishi remembered who the real Tomoe was. At first, Kiyosato’s death gave into depression, and eventually into what appeared to be a desire for vengeance. In truth, revenge was never truly in her heart. Kiyosato had been taken from her and therefore her happiness, but Himura had given it to her a second time. Enishi couldn’t ignore that, the real Tomoe was too kind for ideas such as revenge; she was truly too pure for this world, despite how distant she may appear on the exterior.  He didn’t know if he had it in him to like Himura, not yet at least. Part of him would probably hate the former Hitokiri forever, Enishi didn't even know if he had it in him to fully _forgive_ his brother-in-law. But he at least understood the complicated web of events that surrounded him and Tomoe. Enishi would never pursue him again, for Tomoe’s sake and for his own. He didn’t know how long he had spent in the village, but he didn’t care, not anymore. He couldn’t lose his sister, his _real_ sister, a second time, then he would truly have nothing left. Enishi knew that to do justice for the real Tomoe, he must first cast aside all petty thoughts of revenge. Only then would he start to feel at peace and move on from her tragic death as Himura had done.

Enishi pondered on the old man’s words: Would he really leave this place? Enishi tried to cling to that one statement the old man made, but as time progressed he felt like he was sinking further and further into hopelessness.  Himura managed to rise and leave this place, but that was because he found an answer to atone for his sins…his truth. 

Suddenly, Enishi remembered all _his_ crimes; all the sins he had committed raced through his conscience. That innocent family he slaughtered in disgust and anger, his nefarious dealings with the Chinese mafia, fuelling crime and most certainly death not only in the continent but also his homeland. Selling an iron-clad battleship to an aspiring tyrant with plans to take over Japan. The Jinchuu itself. How he used his comrades as pawns. How he tore everyone apart by faking the Kamiya girl’s death. How he asked Gein to defile an untold number of corpses just to make a puppet for his own selfish revenge. And countless more. Up until now, his life was all about using people, dead and alive, to further his fantasies. At the time, he had justified his own actions in the name of Jinchuu, but now...he was amazed that such an unworthy brother hadn’t lost her smile a long time ago.

He wanted to scream. _What have I done?!_

He was no better than Himura, his repeated mantra of earthly justice…it was no justice. If he had truly believed the purpose of the Jinchuu, he should have been punished long ago. All Enishi had done was dishonour his sister, using her name and assumed thoughts to dish out personal revenge as a coping mechanism for his own self-loathing. Enishi thought himself a hypocrite, he began viciously pulling at his own hair as the nerves around his eyes began to surface. His crimes were many, and they were heavy and burdensome. Enishi became quickly aware of the irony here, that he was being given a taste of his own medicine. He had been so fixated on seeing Himura be punished for his crimes...he now had to bear the scar on his conscience. His frenzied nerves disappeared as he gently let go of his own hair. Enishi, furious with himself, groaned in frustration. 

He could only imagine what his sister would think of him.  _She probably hates me, I'm a disgrace. I'm a cold-blooded criminal. How could she still care about me after all I've done?_ His self-deprication  was quickly replaced with something much more powerful: Desire. The desire to make up for his crimes. To atone.

Enishi wanted justice brought down on himself.  In another world, Enishi may have thought that the hardships he was going through now would be a satisfactory punishment. However, he scoffed at this idea, there was  _no way_ that was an acceptable form of punishment.

Throwing away all thoughts of vengeance wasn’t enough. It was a start, but his sins vastly outweighed that proposition. Enishi had come to realise his true sister and the extent of his own crimes, but his answer…he still did not have it. If he could not find his own truth, a way to atone for the crimes he had committed, this village would become his grave.

 

*********

 

The days continued to pass, but Enishi was still immensely troubled. He wanted to figure out a way to make up for his mistakes, but all he could think was to let someone else punish him. Punishment. Maybe if someone were to carry out the deed, to take his life...

No, dying now would be the coward’s way out...he knew that to repay his crimes in full, he must live his life. His mind was wracked with guilt and shame, staring at the ground between his legs as he refrained from lashing out at himself.

Enishi heard quiet taps approaching him, and he raised his head to see the Geezer. He had returned to the village, saw Enishi sitting in his usual spot and decided to pay him a visit. Enishi couldn’t put his finger on it, but he looked too recognisable. It had been something that occupied the very corner of his mind since his arrival here, but he thought little of it as his conscience was concerned with more dire thoughts. The Geezer approached the troubled youth and sat next to him, as the two little birds that accompanied him flew around the old man.

“That book,” the Geezer began as he rummaged through his small pouch, “is it alright for me to ask what it is?”

“A diary.” He replied in a blunt manner.

“Yours?”

“N-no. It belonged to someone special.”

“I see…” His mind registered the implications of his words, and to soothe him, he began his next topic, “I have a gift for you.” the hobo cheerfully exclaimed as he pulled a small glass bottle out of his bag of tricks. He set it on the ground next to Enishi and removed the lid oh-so-softly.

“…This is…” His trail of thought led him to the realisation that this was the scent of white plum, the perfume of his sister. He inhaled the sweet and calming aroma, being reminded of all the pleasant and bitter memories associated with it. He conquered those bitter memories that had misinformed his life since her death with the good ones. The days they would spend together, where it truly felt they could do anything if they had each other. The days where they would cook their favourite foods together, resulting in them tasting all the better. The nights where he would sit with her in the kotatsu, just _talking_ to her as such a menial thing could comfort him. The times when she would simply hold him close and stroke his then dark hair whenever he got hurt by any of the other children. Those days of eating sweets on the engawa, watching the sun give way to the moon. Those times when Tomoe would sing him a soothing lullaby whenever nightmares intruded his mind, helping him find peace in sleep.

He recalled a picnic one time, where Tomoe, Kiyosato and he went to a beautiful remote location in the hills overlooking Edo, onigiri had never tasted so good as it did on that day. He even recalled the one time when he decided to buy Tomoe flowers, only to realise that Kiyosato had given her the exact same flowers, thinking back on it he found that scenario humorous. No matter how grim those days may have been, he was always happy with Tomoe, and Tomoe always happy with Enishi. That was the real Tomoe that loved both Kiyosato and Himura.

And they loved her.

He couldn’t bring himself to raise his lips, but Enishi emitted an amused huff and relaxed his body. He turned to look at the Geezer, whose eyes were scouting the horizon, “How did you know?”

“Oh? Know what? I only thought the scent would soothe your mind.” He followed up with a light chuckle as his lips rose to meet his own cheeks in parallel. He kept the bottle open on the ground, its rich scent engulfing the entire village. He pushed his glasses up and cleared his throat, “But you seem to remember the scent fondly, you associate it with someone, is it the owner of that diary?”

“Yes.” He huffed.

“Do you…care for this special someone?”

“I do.”

“And do they care about you?”

 “…I don’t think she could anymore.”

 “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. This old codger thinks she would accept you for all your flaws, no matter how dire they may be. The capacity for love is limitless.” The hobo turned to look at Enishi, maintaining his silly grin.

“I…need to make up for all I’ve done…” _Why am I telling this old coot anyway?_ Enishi surprised even himself, something he didn’t think was possible anymore. “But I don’t know how.”

The Geezer no longer bared his warm smile, “For what you’ve done?”

“I failed her.”

“Failed her?”

“I used her for revenge. I’ve used so many people, I’ve torn their lives apart. I'm worthless.”

“Hmmm…” the friendly hobo gently removed his straw hat, placing it in the palm of his hand and setting it on his chest. He remained quiet for a while, as he examined the young man sitting next to him; the Geezer noted his heavy breathing and how his eyes were squinted shut. His neutral expression descended into a thoughtful frown, face loosening to match Enishi’s own sense of sorrow, “if you truly want to atone for your sins, to find your own purpose, you should act in accordance to what you have left."

“Huh?”

“You are still…holding on to _that_.” Enishi promptly understood what he meant. The diary. It felt weightless, as if it were part of him, ingrained into his very soul. “I told you that you would not throw that away because it is what you have left.”

“I…”

"It is the simplest truth in your heart: you love her unconditionally. No matter what you did, the fact remains that all you have done was for her." He stroked his beard as Enishi looked at him in astonishment, "If you truly didn't love her, you would have thrown that away when you first arrived here."

Enishi stopped in his tracks and instead went silent. He had a point, if he really wanted to atone, he must take into consideration the memoirs of his sister. Tomoe paid with her own life to make sure the one she loved most lived on. She traded her own life to tame the Battousai and make him human again. To allow her love to live on. It was her way of atoning for the guilt she felt over Kiyosato’s death. The path Enishi had taken all these years was the opposite of what Tomoe would want. He had already come to terms with no longer pursuing Himura, but he needed to go further.

She sacrificed herself to save the one she loved.

She was kinder than anyone or anything.

_What would she do? What would she want?_

It then occurred to him. 

“…I think I know what to do.” Enishi’s voice was much clearer now.

“Do tell, if you don’t mind that is.”

“She was the kindest person I've ever known. I want to honour her memories properly, to offer that same kindness to everyone. It’s what she would do. Some people still haven’t found peace…I want to help them.” For Enishi, it was difficult to admit these truths, but the burden on his shoulders now felt bearable.

“Oh?”

“Sins never go away, nothing can change the fact that I’ve committed these crimes. But…I can pay for them. My biggest sin was dishonouring my real sister and using her as an excuse to do awful things. She would want a world free of grievances and guilt. Free from exactly what I've done. I want to help create that world.”

Enishi needed to go beyond just settling his grievances, he needed to help rid the world of them. Grudges are formed all too easily on misinformation and lack of support, Enishi knew this himself because he was victim to this. His sister would want to see the world free of grudges and despair, free from cruciform scars and white hair, Free from the bitter cycle of trust and betrayal. He would give aid and compassion to anyone who needed it. While the Red Dragon battled viciously in the sky, conquering those who threatened the peace with the blade that does not kill, the White Tiger would operate in his shadow, offering support and comfort to those who had not found peace and to help create more of it. If Enishi ever needed to fight, he would never kill a single soul and not cause any unnecessary pain ever again. He knew that if he were to follow this road of redemption, one day he may have to give his life the same way that his sister did. To him, that was fine.

“What a touching way to remember her, I’m sure she would be proud of you.”

“Do you really mean that?”’ Enishi’s voice was soft and almost faint.

“Of course, I do...your answer, do you find it satisfying?”

“I'll do _whatever_ it takes to honour my sister.”

“So this is important to you?”

“No amount of kindness could match my sister’s. But it’s what I believe.”

The Geezer, at this young man’s response, grinned and nodded in approval. “So, you will dedicate your life to this. Soon, you will fly from this place and begin your life anew.”

“Not yet,” Enishi replied in a concise manner, “I still need a bit more time…to come to terms with...myself. And to heal.”

“Of course, take all the time you need. There’s no need to rush.” He saw the slightest hint of life return to the boy, he looked less like an abandoned corpse now. “Your sister. I would love for you to take me to her one day.”

 “But…she’s...’

“That doesn’t matter,” he replied while patting Enishi’s shoulder, breathing out a light laugh, “not in the slightest. She is still important to you, even in death. That is why you still hold onto her memoirs. One day, you should take me to where she rests.”

“…If you really want…”

“Ho-ho! Nothing would make me happier!”

His gaze left the old man and instead wandered around to the clear blue sky. For autumn, it was a rather warm day, but Enishi didn’t mind. He needed the sun’s aura right now. The birds chirped and he could hear the rising, joyous conversation in the village. For those who had supposedly lost everything, it sure didn’t seem like they had.

“Well, that should be it for the day, I think,” the old man rose and humorously towered over Enishi, popping his hat back on his head, “you can keep the perfume for now. It should help you relax.” The Geezer turned and began to walk out of the village, a heavy song in his heart as his small flock followed suit.  Enishi didn’t reply, but he could tell that the Geezer knew just how grateful he was. Call it black magic, or just superstition.

Enishi finally had it, his time with the Geezer went a long way. Tomoe’s life had been cut drastically short, and her brother couldn’t bear a Japan without his sister. All these years, he had been remembering her in the wrong way. When time froze for him, Enishi had been a misguided fool, hating himself for failing to protect her and his mind resorted to the convenient lie of revenge. Despite this, nothing could change the simplest truth in his heart: that Enishi loved Tomoe _no_ _matter what_ , and would accept her true feelings.  The ship had steered off the correct path, and he would try to put it back on course.

The sun fell beyond the horizon, giving way to a surplus of red-hot rays that marked the sky with their indescribable beauty. The rising smell of smoke was drowned out by the perfume, and the villagers had begun to calm down. Enishi didn’t know when sleep would find him, but he relaxed nonetheless. 

 

  *********

That night, Enishi had found himself in a deep slumber, all that he had reflected on had worn his mind out. It was a peaceful slumber; images of Tomoe’s blood and body had dominated his nightmares for over a decade, but not tonight. Enishi found himself someplace that seemed familiar but his vision was too blurred to make it out. His ears picked up the whirls of the winter winds, and he could feel something…it was _cold_.

Enishi realised where he was now, that same place where her blood fell upon the snow, yet the forest looked so inviting, there was no blood to be found in the snow, nor corpses.  His back was upright against a tree behind him, knees tucked into his chest. Despite being chilled to the bone, his mind felt calm. He looked around, not daring to move from his position. The snow fell onto his own white hair, and the gusts of wind blew so lightly. The familiar scent of white plum made itself known to him.

In astonishment, his wandering eyes found themselves gazing upon someone familiar, someone he hadn’t seen in a terribly long time, standing in front of him some distance away. Raven locks tied into a reserved ponytail, a snow-white kimono with the purple shawl. That unmistakeable face.  He saw _her_. She slowly walked towards him and Enishi stared in disbelief, hands fisting in the cold snow that laid beneath him. He lowered his head in shame. He understood his previously hate-filled mind was so fixated on revenge and Himura’s suffering that it would never allow the real Tomoe in. 

“Sister…?”

“Enishi...” She replied in a familiar tone, sombre yet somehow soothing. Enishi knew then, nodding his head slightly while his body shook. He still didn’t have the courage to look her in the eyes. Hearing her again comforted him to no end, all his sweet memories came rushing to him as his ears savoured her calming voice. She was now right in front him, the closest she had ever been to him since that day. He felt unworthy of seeing her again or even being allowed to confront her again. To Enishi's surprise, she spoke again, "...I'm so proud of you."

His head jolted upwards in, and it _really was her._ There was no doubt in his mind. She simply nodded her head once. "...Proud?"  _How could she be proud?_ Enishi thought to himself as he was taking in this unbelievable situation.

"Yes. You've changed so much recently, you've made me so proud."

“Sister…” He was on his knees now.

“Enishi, I’m sorry.”

He let out an audible gasp, his eyes widened as he could feel warm tears fall down his face, “What?”

“For leaving you behind,” She knelt in front of him and held him tight, arms wrapped around his shoulders. Enishi’s face was embedded in her collarbone, “for everything.” She allowed him to cry silently into her kimono as she used her right hand to brush his snow-white hair delicately, whispering comforting hushes into his ear. She brought her left hand across to caress the back of his neck softly, while her right continued to make waves in his hair.  

Enishi’s face left the soft folds of her kimono and looked up to see her eyes once again. She met his gaze, still stroking his hair calmly.

“Sister, I'm so sorry! After _everything_ I've done...I don't deserve this!” He wailed. Enishi couldn't hide the fact that he was a mess, his tone both ecstatic and apologetic as the tears kept flowing. He brought his arms around her in desperation.

She simply hummed, wiping those watery marks from his own face. “It’s alright, Enishi. It's alright.” She began to cradle him again, "I'm here now."

"But, I...why?"

"Shhh," Tomoe tranquilly answered back, "don't worry. I'm here for you like I always used to be."

Enishi then remembered this was  _Tomoe_ , the kindest person he has ever known. The one who raised him as both a brother and a surrogate son in the absence of their mother. The one who put up with, cared for and loved him despite his childish tantrums. The one who made him happy _no matter what_. The one who willingly gave away her own life, so the one she cared for could live on. The one who was here for him right now, even though he had been such an unworthy brother.

"...S-sister...I..."

"It's okay, Enishi. Let it out." There was the slightest hint of sadness in her voice as she comforted him. He lost track of time while expelling his anguish, but Tomoe didn’t mind. Not even a bit. She continued to keep him in her warm embrace as his shivers and whimpers were muffled, softly vibrating against her.

After a brief amount of silence, she inspected the bright strands which stood high on his head. “Your hair, it’s…”

“It's hideous, isn't it?”

“No, it's beautiful.” His hair was indistinguishable from the snow that had started to layer itself on Tomoe’s gorgeous dark mane. No one had ever told him that. Most onlookers thought his hair was strange and foreign, few knew what it meant. He had always thought his own hair was ugly, a deep mark of the past that displayed his anguish and loss. He thought it was much uglier than Himura's cruciform scar because he was adamant that the colour in his hair would never go away. Tomoe thought otherwise, its vibrancy and softness made her hum. Her fingertips were warm, her touch gentle and filled with purpose. 

His dear sister was comforting him the way she always used to. Enishi felt too overwhelmed, his face continuously shifted expression as he tried to cope with what was happening. Once again, he leaned into her upper body, and she let him. Despite the snow, he felt unbelievably warm and _safe_ under her care. He subtly beamed at the scenario that had been bestowed upon him, the opportunity to see his real sister once more, and he knew it was her and not just his mind. The Tomoe in his mind could never be this kind and loving. And this wasn’t a fake smile fuelled by Enishi’s previous lust for revenge, this crescent was one of peace and happiness. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time, not since his days growing up with his sister, before the perils of the Bakumatsu and the death and misery it brought with it. Since the day when time stopped for him.

They were brother and sister, yet also - almost impossibly so - mother and son. 

“I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too.” Enishi exhaled at those words, he took solace in that and was happy to be here for his sister. Tomoe’s hands wandered to his cheeks as she raised him to see him properly, “The past ten years have been cruel to you...”

“I'm not blameless, sister. It's my fault as well.” 

“Enishi…”

“But I understand now, I know what to do.”

“Mmm.” She slowly and carefully wiped the tears from his cheeks, as she placed a warm kiss on his forehead and succumbed to her own emotions. Her eyes expelled warm salted lines which melted the snow beneath them. But her expression, Enishi realised, was not one of grief. The ends of her closed lips pointed upwards, as there was a mystical gleam in her eyes. Ah, it was truly a gift to see her smile. To see her happy.

“Sister…you’re smiling!”

"Mhm." She expelled a breathy laugh from her lungs. 

"It's good to see you like this." His unexaggerated smile transformed into a grin of overwhelming joy. He felt like he was a child again.

“Enishi...whenever you smile, I'll be smiling as well.” Tomoe's speech was calm, but it was leaking with joy, "I want for you to be happy."

Then they just sat there, taking in the other one’s care and basking in the love they still had for each other after all these years. Love truly had no boundaries, clearly proven by how much Tomoe still adored her own little brother, despite all his terrible flaws.

The currents of air continued to calmly dance around the forest, and the trail of white plum was stronger than it ever was before. The way the wind gently touched the ends of her kimono, how the snow surfaced on their shoulders. The understated sound of their breathing dominated the space around them. Everything about this felt so _real_. Time continued to pass, and they remained as still as a wall. Eventually, all they could feel- _cared to feel_ -was each other. Nothing could separate them at this moment. For now, the Yukishiro siblings were reunited after many years of bitter separation. To Enishi, it was a sweet feeling, to not only see his real sister again but to know that she was happy. 

After what felt like an eternity of just cherishing the moment, she finally let go of him. Enishi already felt hollow, he wanted this moment to last forever.

“Thank you, Enishi.”

He raised an eyebrow, “For what?”

“For smiling again. And for remembering me.”

“I should be the one thanking you.”

At that remark, she couldn’t help but giggle. Tomoe brought her head forward while delicately cupping Enishi’s, tilting his towards hers: her final communion. “Be brave for me, Enishi.” She slowly released her gentle grasp and stood up now; Tomoe gradually backed away, her hands were folded over each other.

His senses numbed and he realized what this meant.

“I'll always be watching over you." Tomoe's shawl danced with the winter winds.

Enishi wanted to panic. Enishi wanted to reach out to her and call her back. Enishi wanted to say so much more to her while he had the time. He wanted to do all these things, but he didn't. Instead, he quickly came to terms with what was happening and never acted upon his desires. Enishi didn't want to repeat the dire mistakes of his past and had a sense of maturity about him, as his irrational thoughts disappeared. All good things must come to an end; the bitter truth was that Tomoe had died over ten years ago, she and Enishi were of two different worlds now and they could only remain together for so long. It was time for Tomoe spread her wings and fly, whilst Enishi would soon have to face the morning sunrise. 

Enishi noted the sense of finality her words carried, the overbearing weight in her speech stood out. Enishi came to realize that this was the last time he was going to see his sister. And…that was okay. He was no longer the rage-fuelled denialist that had been a scourge upon that who she loved, for the first time in his life he felt like an adult ready to accept this inconvenient situation.  For him, the closure he had just gained with this final meeting was more than enough. He simply witnessed her retreat and smiled upon her.

“I’ll never forget you, sister.”

As the image of the snow-covered forest began to dissolve unto darkness, his sister left him with one final parting message. 

“Farewell, Enishi. I...”

“...Yes?”

“I love you.”

She departed with a bright, radiant, _heavenly_ smile, as the trees folded over into nothingness and the snow evaporated to the corners of his mind. Her final words echoed through what felt like time and space itself as the backdrop his mind had painted for their reunion parted; Tomoe’s angelic visage dematerialised and flew back to the world which she now inhabits, where she would watch over everyone she ever loved and cared for.

 

*********

 

Enishi’s eyes darted open as he drank in the waking world. The events of his dream were still fresh in his mind as his eyes began to water, those last three words dominating his mind. His hands tensed as he brought the diary close to his heart. His weeping had resulted in the cover of the tome to turn soggy, but he was too distracted to notice. Enishi’s emotional episode was rather audible, his own sniffles and sobs drowned out all noise around him. But he was showing signs of _life_ , he was no longer the half-dead stranger who landed here some time ago. He knew that these were not tears of sadness. _He was smiling._

Much like in his dream, his smile was subtle, but a true one that came from the heart and from love for his dear departed sister who had visited him one last time.  Unlike his dream, this was the _real_ world. He had felt blessed as if the powers that be were kind enough to a give a miserable dog such as him one more chance. Finally, this wound that had plagued his very soul for so many years began to heal, it was slow but sure; in the future, Enishi would be whole again. He felt like screaming in joy, but it was still rather early thus he decided against it. What Enishi _did_ do was take in his surroundings.

The sun was divine, birds chirped and danced on this harmonious morning as the residents of the village partook in friendly chat and banter. The trail of perfume had been replaced with a delicious scent that smelled _so good_ to him, it reminded him of dear Tomoe’s cooking. He picked up the bottle that was by his side; the Geezer wasn’t there right now, but he knew that old hobo would be here soon, and he could give him his bottle back. One of the residents of this fallen village flew over to Enishi with his clipped wings, supposedly because he _actually_ looked approachable today.

“I know the old man said you’d get outta here one day, but uh…” He looked down to the ground and scratched the back of his head, “Ya still gotta eat, Ya know? As long as yer here, yer one of us and we look out for each other. We don’t get to eat somethin’ this good often, so why doncha come along?”

Enishi couldn’t remember the last time he ate properly, he would occasionally be given basic nourishment to subsist with, mainly water, but he had always turned down offers to dine with the residents before. Enishi felt different today, however, the air never felt so fresh and the morning sky hadn’t looked so beautiful in years. Everything was coming back to him now. His stomach growled ferociously at the proposition. He looked up at the man and responded to his offer.

“That’s a good idea.” He replied calmly, his voice prompted the man to widen his eyes and grin.

"Well, come on 'en!"

As the day went on, he found himself communing with the village more and more. Partaking in all their activities, talking to the people that dwelled there. They always asked about the diary he held, and Enishi would always reply with ‘It’s what I have left.’ As always, they were unassuming and non-judgmental.

The Geezer came back too, bringing gifts for the residents of the village. In fact, he had brought Enishi some sort of rough fabric, a rope and a needle, stating ‘Use your imagination!’. Enishi found himself somewhat taking a liking to the joyous old Geezer who could see into the depths of one’s soul and help heal it.

He knew that he would soon be ready to leave this place. Memories of that dream had faded somewhat, and the image of his sister had slowly started to fade away. Enishi was at peace with this. He no longer needed the image of his sister to guide him, for he knew in full conviction what to do to honour the _real_ Tomoe. Enishi would always remember her final words, and felt a deep sense of gratitude to the gods or to _something_ , for allowing him to have such a selfless and noble sister who would always take care of her own broken family. He knew in his heart that Tomoe was watching over him peacefully and that she was smiling.

Enishi was ready, the road ahead would be long and arduous. To make up for the severe crimes he had committed since the day of the rain of blood on snow, he would have to be strong. Enishi didn’t know how long it would take for him to atone, it would most likely take all his years he had left in this world. But now, he was armed with something much greater than anger, more powerful than a blade fuelled by revenge. He was armed with knowledge. Knowledge of the sister he had cherished his entire life. He knew who she really was, he knew what really happened on that cold winter day. But most importantly, he knew that he had failed her. But, he also knew what to do to make up for his terrible behaviour. He knew that his sister would watch over him forever.

One day perhaps, Enishi would find something or someone else worth living for and would live his life for them as well. If that time came... _When_ that time came. 

As he had finished stitching a baggy pocket together and tying it to a rope, he noticed that the sun had once again fallen beyond the horizon. It was breathtaking. The sky was bathed in a warm crimson, it looked positively inviting. Enishi witnessed the birds flying off in the distance, performing their dance of life. There was nothing but bliss. He decided that in the morning, he would finally depart and begin again; he would help in any way he could, honour the dying wishes of his dearly departed and live his life in the new era. He kept the diary in his hand as he slept that night, and rest found him quickly.

 

*********

 

It was the crack of dawn, the birds had barely woken up themselves, and the sun’s golden rays were only starting to paint the pale sky. Enishi awoke to this serene calm, well rested, and finally felt ready to leave. He put the diary in his makeshift bag and slung it over his shoulder and waist. Before he could depart, the Geezer, almost out of nowhere, approached him once more. The old man tapped him on his shoulder from behind, and Enishi almost jumped out of his skin. After the shock had subsided, he turned to see the old man grinning at him. 

“Not so fast, I have some parting presents.” Distracted by his troop of feathered friends, Enishi almost missed what he was carrying around his arm. Clothes. They were worn and tattered, but they would make the perfect travelling garments. He also noticed that amongst the clothes lay a purple scarf, the same colour as Tomoe's shawl. He surveyed it with surprise, “Do you like purple? It’s been getting cold recently, I would wear these to keep yourself warm.”

 _Who is this old man? And was he saving these for when I left?_ Was what crossed his mind initially, but he didn’t express these thoughts as he gracefully reached out and accepted the gifts from the kind old tramp. Firstly, Enishi removed the rope with the diary from himself and then his old clothing. He proceeded to dress in the tattered robes given to him; they were unorthodox and nothing like traditional Japanese clothing. He adorned himself with black travelling boots, faded pants held together by numerous wraps of a rather large belt, a new tank top and a worn jacket with sleeves that reached down to his wrists. They may not have been luxurious but they were warm. He then wrapped the scarf around his shoulders and neck. It gracefully fluttered and flew in the morning gales. To any passerby, Enishi probably looked ridiculous, but he felt warm and appreciated so he didn’t care. It had felt like he shed his old skin and grew a new one. He picked up the rope and slung it over his shoulder again.

Enishi quickly formed a pyre-with the help of the Geezer of course-and tossed his old clothing on top of it. Those old Chinese threads wasted away on top of the flames, his past figuratively burning in front of his very eyes. The smoke rose and mingled with the early morning sky as it moved away from the two men on the ground. Enishi took a few steps back and sighed, lowering his head and closing his eyes afterwards. He remained in that position for a while, eventually smirking.

“How did you know?”

“I’ve been observing you for a while, haven’t I? I know when a man is ready to fly. So…your future begins now.”

“Yes, I want to do this. For her. For everyone.”

“I can tell that the conviction in your heart is absolute. There are many people who need help, who need someone like you. You must live your life in the new era, it’s what she would want, don’t you think?”

“Thank you…I don’t really know how to repay you…for everything.”

“Hmm, well I have no interest in money or valuables,” the codger answered back cheerfully, “I have an idea! Why don’t you take me to where _she_ rests?”

Enishi quickly remembered that request the Geezer made a couple of days ago. He found himself chuckling at the hobo’s unusual payment request.

“Really? Is that all you want?” His voice sounded higher pitched than usual.

“Ho-ho, I never ask for much. Don’t worry, it will be enough.”

He let the corners of his lips meet his cheeks completely, “Of course, I’ll take you there.”

“And please, do tell me more about her as we travel!”

The two departed together, and Enishi was ready to face the future that was laid out in front of him. But before he could walk into the new era, he first had to revisit the past one last time.

 

*********

 

_‘The real Tomoe is…kinder than anyone or anything…so she will watch over Enishi…she will watch him…forever...’_

Owari.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think! This is my first fic and I’m nervous about it. I’m not sure how good I am but I really wanted to write this. I greatly enjoyed writing it, especially the dream sequence.  
> The dream sequence has two major influences: The first is Kenshin’s dream after he leaves Rakuninmura and stops Hyogo. I made it different here and really tried to emphasize their relationship. The second major influence was the farewell scene in Halo 4…I don’t really like Halo anymore, but the ‘farewell’ scene at the end is really moving. 
> 
> The whole piece kinda started off as an excuse to let Tomoe properly say farewell to Enishi, I always found it deeply saddening that they never said goodbye to each other. I also wanted a genuine moment between them, with Tomoe acting as both his sister and mother-figure. Enishi and Tomoe say ‘thank you’, ‘sorry’, and ‘goodbye’ to each other like how Kenshin does at her grave, though it plays out quite differently here.
> 
> In case the piece didn’t make it apparent, the Tomoe in his dream is her spirit from the other world/heaven/etc. Rurouni Kenshin does have supernatural aspects, such as a literal depiction of Shishio and co. in hell amongst other things. I’m not expecting everyone to be on board, but I wanted to add it because part of writing a fanfic is fulfilling fantasies, right? I really wanted to tie it in with Enishi’s redemption.
> 
> As for Enishi’s ‘truth’…to me, it’s a logical answer to his sins. Perspective is limited, however, and if you disagree with me then I’m deeply sorry. I still need to mature.
> 
> I actually do think Enishi would be capable of forgiving Kenshin one day. Certainly not immediately, and probably not for a while, but maybe eventually. The thing about Enishi is that I think he, like say...Soujiro, needs time to figure himself out. He's lived in the shadow of his sister's death for so long, he has never really forged an identity or life for himself. I definitely think Kenshin and Kaoru are capable of forgiving Enishi too, but I'm not so sure about the others. Maybe not? That's fair enough, I guess.


End file.
